I saw this brilliant video about one of the most, er, interesting aspects of barnacle physiology in a course taught by the illustrious (and ever-so-interesting) Dr. Paul Dayton. And in the 12 years that have passed since then, I have been fiendishly searching for a copy of this clip, waiting for it to finally make it’s way to youtube. And doublew00t: it has finally made it!

Call it what you will: a natural history of a species ubiquitous in the marine realm; a clever way to force the retention of random facts into the knowledge bank of oversexed, overstimulated college students; a skillful juxtaposition of knowledge, music and imagery that would be quite at home in a burlesque show.

But once you hear the line at 3 mins and 22 seconds, you will never be at a loss to remember why barnacles need tell no lies.

RANDOM FACTS:
Yes, relative to their size, the barnacle penis is the largest in the animal kingdom. Sure, they might be only a few centimeters long… but that’s 40x the size of the barnacle itself. In comparison, were a 6 foot tall man to be comparatively endowed, he’d need a pretty loose-fitting pair of pants to hold all 240 feet of his manhood. (Yup, I calculated that right. Feet. Not inches. Think about it.)

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