Thousands of acres of old growth forests.

A mountain range and majestic sandstone bluff formations.

In Illinois?

Garden of the Gods is in the southernmost part of the state, a region rich with geologic history – about 320 million years ago, much of the state of Illinois was beachfront property, replete with reefs along the coastline and all form of marine organisms that later produced massive sandstone formations. When the glaciers melted, it caused all sorts of trouble for the exposed sandstone mountain range known as the Shawnee Hills, producing the bizarre formations known as Devil’s Smokestack, Anvil Rock, and Camel Rock, amongst others.

Fast forward 319.999999 million years…. much of the area surrounding the Garden of the Gods, including much of the land now known as the Shawnee National Forest was degraded by erosion after the land was cleared for farming. Yet remarkably, largely as the result of unfavorable topology and partly as the result of the designation of the region as first a National Forest under FDR and it’s subsequent designation as a wilderness area, Garden of the Gods has been largely untouched by human hands… at least more so than in most other parts of the state.

And I can’t even fathom how beautiful the foliage is in autumn.

The car-accessible Pharaoh campground is perched atop the cliffs, and a two minute walk to a fantastic vista of the entire valley. And did I mention: $5 a night? But be forewarned, there are only 12 campsites, and it’s first come-first serve, no reservations accepted. If you’re more adventurous than my ex, back-country camping is permitted as well.

This ain’t no sanitized KOA campground, though: ticks and copperheads can be found in the area, and due to the elevation of the forested campsites, the probability of summertime thunderstorms must be taken into consideration when planning your trip.

Yeah, it’s about a 7 hour drive from Chicago. But aside from my parents’ backyard, it’s the best place I’ve found to go hiking and camping in the great state of Illinois. You say you like camping, and you can pack out what you packed in? Get your ass down to Garden of the Gods. Otherwise, there’s always a site for you here.