I saw this brilliant video about one of the most, er, interesting aspects of barnacle physiology in a course taught by the illustrious (and ever-so-interesting) Dr. Paul Dayton. And in the 12 years that have passed since then, I have been fiendishly searching for a copy of this clip, waiting for it to finally make it’s way to youtube. And doublew00t: it has finally made it!

Call it what you will: a natural history of a species ubiquitous in the marine realm; a clever way to force the retention of random facts into the knowledge bank of oversexed, overstimulated college students; a skillful juxtaposition of knowledge, music and imagery that would be quite at home in a burlesque show.

But once you hear the line at 3 mins and 22 seconds, you will never be at a loss to remember why barnacles need tell no lies.

RANDOM FACTS:
Yes, relative to their size, the barnacle penis is the largest in the animal kingdom. Sure, they might be only a few centimeters long… but that’s 40x the size of the barnacle itself. In comparison, were a 6 foot tall man to be comparatively endowed, he’d need a pretty loose-fitting pair of pants to hold all 240 feet of his manhood. (Yup, I calculated that right. Feet. Not inches. Think about it.)

But not only is length impressive in the barnacle’s case: it also has the ability to adapt it’s length and girth in response to its environment. In calm waters, the length is more important, while length is traded off for girth in rough seas, where a long schlong might be more of a liability. Yup, those crazy marine biologists have actually tested the difference in reproductive success for different lengths and girths of the barnacle penis. And since they grow a new penis every year, they can be fairly flexible (pun intended).

RANDOM FACTS:
In case you’re wondering why this tradeoff might be made, put yourself in the place of a barnacle. Once you hatch, you’re a little larva swimming around in a big old ocean, where lots of hungry sea creatures are looking for a meal, so as soon as you can, you start looking for a place to take shelter. Once you find a good spot, you attach yourself to a rock and build your home to protect yourself from the big bad world. But a good spot isn’t always necessarily going to available be right next to another barnacle, let alone a barnacle of the opposite sex… so as a marvel of evolutionary luck, the barnacle developed the ability to not only go long, but to get new equipment if the environment requires. Brilliant!

So ladies, the next time you run into someone telling you he’s ‘got what you need’, put him in his place by telling him with a raised eyebrow, a bit of latina attitude, and one finger pointing to the sky “Honey, a tiny little barnacle got more of what I need than you do.” Because no matter if you’re talking about personality or masculine prowess, you’ll be speaking the truth.

No related posts.

I came across this gem that plays like a 1970s British mashup of Mythbusters and How Things Work when, for some reason, I was looking for info on how washing machines work today. And although it clearly explains how washing machines work, it gives you so much more.

They stage a car rollover in perhaps the clearest description of how solenoids work I’ve ever seen. In describing how the various components work they build special effects equipment, cut about 20 washing machines in half, and include various other Mythbusters-like goodies… and when the narrator gets hit in the face by water, I can’t help but imagine how hilarious it would be were there a British version of Mythbusters, with Adam’s analogue responding in that stoic British fashion…. although Jaime is stoic in his own way, it would be vastly entertaining to see a more impetuous hacker forced to deal with the outcomes of his rash actions in the stoic fashion expected in British culture.

In the historical overview of how we clean our clothes, we learn about women’s liberation – and get to see naked pirates.

The last five minutes or so address how the technology involved in producing washing machines had changed in “recent” years. They compare how And in one of the earliest discussions I’ve found surrounding gadgets/technology and sustainability, I’ve found perhaps my favorite quote thus far of the year:

“The modern engineering would probably horrify pre-war engineers who worshipped quality, not economy.”

And the reggae version of Dave Brubek’s “Take Five” at the end is a nice touch.

In all, it’s a fascinating watch – if you’re a technology geek like me who never got to take shop class or study electrical engineering but loves to figure out how things work, it’s 25 minutes well spent.

No related posts.

After 15 years of waiting, The State, the greatest sketch comedy show of all time, in all of its absurdist glory, is finally being released on DVD on July 14th, 2009. Well, kinda.

In the past 15 years, I’ve spent far too much time searching for grainy 3rd generation videotapes, CIF-resolution mpgs, and any other type of copy I can get my hands on.

Then, when episodes of The State were released on iTunes a couple of years ago, some of the sketches were mutilated – an inability to obtain the rights to the music so integral to the skits resulted in overdubbing and otherwise replacing what was possibly the most brilliant fusion of popular music and comedy in the history of the world.

So I avoided purchasing the videos on youtube in the hope that one day – maybe, just maybe – the DVD release would restore the gestalt of the episodes.

And finally, the DVD is being released… but it turns out there’s still a problem with the music.

Take one look at this original version of the classic “$240 Worth Of Pudding” and then compare it to the new version.

And the wankers at Viacom forced the removal of the original version of “Try Wearing Pants” containing The Breeders’ “Cannonball” from the interwebs, leaving there is nothing to as a point of reference for this abblandized version (it’s about 1/3 of the way through).

Granted, I know very little about obtaining music clearances, but the performers themselves should be ashamed (or at least saddened) that they did not take steps to protect the once-perfect marriage between their music and some of the funniest crap ever, abandoning a beautiful relationship to be ended in disputes over property rights. Come on, Breeders – do you hate us? Why would you attempt to diminish our enjoyment at seeing Michael Ian Black running around in his underwear? And to the estate of Marvin Gaye: what’s going on? Feel you no shame for taking away the deeper meaning one of the greatest songs about desire of all time lends to two guys rubbing their asses in $240 worth of pudding?

I would hope that the dvd gives you the option to turn off the new music so that you can manually restore the brilliance of these shorts. If not, I’ll still probably ask for a copy for a gift, but I’m guessing it’s not worth going out and getting a job to be able to afford.

Le sigh.

No related posts.

If researchers can use a selected set of search terms to accurately estimate the spread of flu activity across the United States in real time, can similar methodologies be used to determine the prevalence of other illnesses, diseases, and social concerns that may not always be reported to the agency tasked with understanding the underlying dynamics?

As a simple test, I decided to look for potential patterns revealing hotspots of depression using a single simple query for the word “depression.”

I was able to retrieve several layers of data on global, national, and state-based scales: unfortunately, the process of obtaining, geocoding and transferring the location data to the map appears to have resulted in a slight northward drift; however, the markers still appear to be in the ballpark and should suffice for the time being.

Top-ranking cities in the United States

1. Pittsburgh, PA, USA
2. Columbus, OH, USA
3. Philadelphia, PA, USA
4. Cincinnati, OH, USA
5. Salt Lake City, UT, USA
6. Raleigh, NC, USA
7. St Louis, MO, USA
8. Reston, VA, USA
9. Denver, CO, USA
10. Boston, MA, USA

Top-ranking Cities in the United States (One Per State)

• Columbiana, AL
• Soldotna, AK
• Glendale, AZ
• State University, AR
• Walnut Creek, CA
• Greeley, CO
• Monroe, CT
• Georgetown, DE
• Tallahassee, FL
• Decatur, GA
• Laie, HI
• Fruitland, ID
• Wheaton, IL
• Marion, IN
• Decorah, IA
• Emporia, KS
• Versailles, KY
• Covington, LA
• Farmington, ME
• Westminster, MD
• Chelmsford, MA
• Clinton Township, MI
• Osseo, MN
• University, MS
• Kirksville, MO
• Whitefish, MT
• Auburn, NE
• Fallon, NV
• Plymouth, NH
• Brick, NJ
• Cedar Crest, NM
• Elmsford, NY
• Boone, NC
• Devils Lake, ND
• Marion, OH
• Edmond, OK
• Marylhurst, OR
• Chester, PA
• Barrington, RI
• Honea Path, SC
• Canton, SD
• Shelbyville, TN
• Denton, TX
• Alpine, UT
• Waterbury, VT
• Harrisonburg, VA
• Everett, WA
• Shepherdstown, WV
• Marshfield, WI
• Evanston, WY

All Top-ranking Cities in the United States

While I wish to make it clear that in no way do I find depression to be humorous, I do need to draw attention to a few of the names of cities that made it on the list of Most Depressing in the U.S.:

Feeling like an outsider can definitely lead to feelings of isolation and depression – and for these towns in the Great Plains, the name alone is likely enough to make one feel an outcast.

#1. Idaho: Fruitland
#7. South Dakota: Gayville

But that doesn’t explain why people are depressed in
2. Illinois: Normal

And then, there are those towns I just understand in general:
#1. California: Walnut Creek
#4. Missouri: Cape Girardeau

and, of course,
1. Brick, NJ
2. Mahwah, NJ
3. Summit, NJ
4. Hackensack
5. Burlington
6. Moorestown
7. Cherry Hill
8. East Brunswick, NJ
9. Sayreville, NJ
10. Plainsboro, NJ

But one interesting bit of anecdotal evidence: a large number of these towns appear to be in areas immediately adjacent to universities and other institutes of higher education. The causality remains unknown, but this would likely prove an interesting area for further investigation.

And now for some other random facts:

Global:

Searches for Depression ranked countries in the following order.
1. Australia
2. United States
3. New Zealand
4. Canada
5. Ireland
6. United Kingdom
7. Denmark
8. India
9. Sweden
10. Austria

And those sure are a lot of random facts for only 1.5 hours of work…

Related posts:

1. What the world is thinking in 5 words or less.

How do we know what the rest of the world is thinking? Sure, you can look at the newsmedia, proceedings in the halls of Congress/Parliament/other governing body, but those sources reflect a skewed perspective – they’re coming from someone with something to sell, be it advertising or ideology.

To truly understand what people care about, what they think about on a daily basis, and the topics which they feel impact their lives, we need to understand not only what is being heard by the masses – we also need to know what they are curious about: not only what they are saying, but what they want to learn.

But learning is a risky business. There has always been a human tendency to avoid asking questions of others, be it in the classroom, the workplace or other social situations: the act of asking a question implies a lack of knowledge, which may diminish social standing, placing them in a “one-down” situation (this is particularly evident in interactions between men; see You Just Don’t Understand” by Deborah Tannen for a clear, concise, non-judgemental elaboration).

However, now that we can ask our questions of our computers, which pose a minimal threat to our social standing, we are free to ask any question we like without fear of judgement. As such, we are free to learn about all those things which may interest us – those topics concerning our financial well-being, or social needs and sexual curiosities – without fear of judgement or retribution.

Historically, it would be nearly impossible to obtain large datasets which reflect what people think, feel, and wonder about on the meager funding available for most social sciences research… but thanks to the propensity of human curiosity, those of us who study social phenomena and language have a new set of incredibly powerful tools at our disposal. And while blogs and twitter feeds are undoubtedly powerful resources for investigation into social phenomena, query trends from internet search engines have the potential to be an even more powerful tool.

Why more powerful?

How can phrases uttered with the assumption of absence of communication with other humans be more revealing than intentional acts of communication?

When one posts on their blog, comments on or even on twitter, they are aware of the real (or imagined) presence of the reader – another human who will undoubtedly judge us based on the content of our submissions. Even anonymously, the notion that one’s words may be read and evaluated colors what we are willing to say, shapes how we say it, and dictates what questions we are ready to ask. But when we send a message through the tubes to a non-feeling, non-judgemental mass of silicon and cables, we are less likely to temper what we say with any compensation for political correctness or protection of our emotional vulnerability. In essence, we can tell these inanimate objects our deepest, darkest fears and seek guidance for our hopes, dreams and desires, no matter how abnormal, without the fear of being judged.

Additionally, these tools let us know what others are wondering about for both emerging topics for which no resources are available for more in-depth analysis, and the topics are no definitive answers…

Happiness

Beyond simply indicating what people are wondering at a certain point in time, these data also reflect the temporal development of interest in a topic – when people begin to wonder. We can attempt to correllate a sudden spike of interest in a topic/social trends with an event; we can track, in real time, what impact current events may have on the population as a whole – the secret thoughts we may not be willing to share with others face-to-face, yet are no longer satisfied to simply wonder about.

Letting our guard down….

Getting others to let their guard down typically requires trust – which takes time (and thusly financial resources) to obtain, or the promise of anonymity – a promise viewed with suspicion by most. However, most feel vaguely confident when seeking anonymity from the faceless racks of servers in a colocation facility, enabling a freedom from the fear of judgement in the pursuit of knowledge and understanding.

But the best thing? Search trending data are free and easy to obtain. Anyone from armchair anthropologists to the CDC can access the data from the most widely used search engines, using them to achieve a variety of aims. However, as Google itself states,

The data Trends produces may contain inaccuracies for a number of reasons, including data-sampling issues and a variety of approximations that are used to compute results. We hope you find this service interesting and entertaining, but you probably wouldn’t want to write your Ph.D. dissertation based on the information provided by Trends.”
About Google Trends

Additionally, the reported values do not reflect the absolute number of queries (Google doesn’t share that info quite as freely): it reflects a normalized proportion of queries to overall search traffic. As always, the value of any investigation utilizing said data should be subject to peer review (and perhaps taken with a grain of salt), but the ready availability of the dataset allows any observer to look for themselves and come to their own conclusions.

So what can we learn?

What kinds of questions can these tools be used to answer? In upcoming series of posts, I’ll use search trending tools to address a variety of questions including the following (but not necessarily in this order):

The practical:

• “What should I write next?” Identifying seasonal patterns in interest to prioritize topics for your blogging: how to determine which of the topics on your list of ideas for posts will get the most return in the near future.

The theoretical:

• “How does the economic downturn affect patterns of food consumption?”
• “How does the release of a new medication for the treatment of depression/x disease impact public interest?”
• “Does the media truly reflect or shape popular interest?”

The big picture:

• “Are we shifting away from instant gratification?” Metaphoric analysis of the relative frequency of similar search terms can indicate a shift in cultural consciousness about what is good and important.

The wholly unscientific and mildly informative random facts:

• “What is the most depressing place to live?” – breaking down the frequency of queries for ‘depression’ by country, state, etc. can provide insight into the overall zeitgeist of the location, and perhaps indicate where you don’t want to move.
• “What city has the best vocabulary?” - what city originates the most searches for big words?
• “What city thinks they’re the smartest?” – I haven’t thought about how to look at this one yet, but it would be interesting to see if it meshes with the above, no?

I don’t promise to have all the right answers. My approach integrates what I know of cognitive science, linguistics, cultural anthropology, and the bare minimum statistical analysis I can pull off without having to pull out my old textbooks. – And the conclusions I draw will be impacted by own biases (although I’ll attempt to minimize them as much as possible).

But I think it’ll be an interesting experiment… n’est ce pas?

Related posts:

1. Random Facts: The Most Depressing Cities in the U.S.