Roommates who are bipolar, stop seeing their psychiatrist and go off their medication because they think it’s making them too fat to have a meaningful relationship are no good.*
Roommates who go in your room when you are not home, and when you come home and through the window see them picking things up in your room and smelling them? No good.
Roommates who let their friends sleep in your bed when you are out of town and you come home to find lesbian porn on your computer… not good. (Especially if it’s lesbian porn featuring very *not* hot lesbians)
Roommates who insist on keeping the temperature in the house at 56 F, lowering the temp below the dew-point so that you can see your breath while you’re lying in bed are not good (hello, mold and mildew?)
Roommates who make you feel more than uncomfortable going to your local bar because they sleep with the bartender, then stalking him for a couple of months (read: drive past the bar 3x per night and drive past his house at least 2x/day) are not good, especially when it’s the only bar in your neighborhood. Then, once things have calmed down, sleep with him again six months later, rinse, repeat… not good.
Roommates who won’t clean their crap off the dining room table when you have company coming for dinner; roommates who freak out when you suggest that you could move their crap for them, screaming ‘this is my house too, and i have every right to use the table. I can’t even understand how you could even ask that,” yet when your sewing machine and office supplies are on the table (your table), they bitch and moan for an entire evening… not good.
Roommates who yell at you for not taking out the compost that they left in a brown grocery bag in the living room… when compost is supposed to be in a green biodegradable bag in the kitchen… and not cleaning up after their dog when it gets into said compost, dragging it into roommate’s room? PITA.
Roommates who all of a sudden, decide swimming in the bay every morning at 6 am? Fine. No problem. Unless they decide that you can’t listen to music, watch TV at a reasonable volume or talk on the phone from the hours of 9 pm – 5 am, and again from 12 pm until 3 pm while they take their post-swim nap? Not good. Especially if they claim they can’t use any kind of white noise generator because it reminds them of the ‘time they spent in the hospital after being attacked by a shark.’
Roommates who bitch that your typing is too loud after they’ve gone to bed? Uhhhhh…
Roommates who say they have celiac disease, but seem entirely fine after eating pizza while drunk… until you remind them 3+ days later that they ate half your pizza while walking home, and only then do they spend the next day in bed? Annoying.
Roommates who bitch at you for your 14 lb dog walking down the hall at 10.30 at night while their dog barks and whines at 6 am when they leave for 12+ hours… not so good.
Roommates who won’t let you hire a housekeeper, for it would make the aforementioned dog ‘feel uncomfortable?’ Not good.
Roommates who have forced EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR GUESTS TO LEAVE because they pick fights over stupid things like catalog photography, the ability of tall women to have strength in their quads, or riding ones bike through golden gate park after dark, then informing you that said individual is unwelcome in your house because, according to roommate, your friends ‘insulted me in my own house?’ Not good.
Roommates who yell “SHUT UP!” at your mom when you walk in the front door the first time she comes to visit? Do I even need to say it?
I’m the first to admit that I’m probably not the best roommate ever. I’ll pick stuff up at the store for you, pay bills on time, etc., but I don’t clean up after your dog’s messes, I sometimes leave my dishes on the counter in the morning, etc.
But you know what? Roommates who demand that you move out for complaining about the above? Bat-shit nuts.
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*Note: I have absolutely NOTHING against individuals suffering from BPD. With proper treatment, it is a well-manageable condition. But going off medication AMA, knowing full-well, yet ignoring the possible consequences? If that decision is made while on medication, it’s a matter of poor judgment. And NOT GOOD.
**Note: the above statements all refer to the same roommate. The one before her falsely identified himself as an architect (really a contractor) and refused to flush the toilet because he ‘hadn’t used a real toilet in 3 years…” another peed on my furniture and brought back a marine from Tijuana, kicked me out of the room and got knocked up… but those seems like small shit (pun intended) compared to this one.
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